I Google Myself 

written by Erik Weiner and Jordan Allen Dutton
music by Mark Weiner (aka Yung Mars)
©2008 Rickmill Productions

in this lonely world, love is hard to find
i need a lonely girl, so i went online
on facebook, this girl brooke said she's an ace cook
woulda putta in my datebook but couldn't tell how her face looked
on myspace, i put up a picture of my face
girl in white lace offered me a massage at a thai place
on friendster, tried to befriend a playmate named kendra
she said depends, sir, you drive a benz, no i drive a sentra
on eharmony, met barbara lee, a catholic girl from Carnegie
she wanted prince charming, see, not a jew like me from Jar-many
so i went on j-date, met a jew named kate from A. State
when  i told her my pay rate she said hey wait and canceled our play date
on youtube, i watched this cute girl suze who had huge boobs
i used lube until i noticed she was a huge dude
couldn't find a girl to bone and these sites were no help
so i sit at alone at home and i google myself

you know it's true i'm not ashamed to say
but i google myself like everyday
i don't need anybody else
when i think about me i google myself

on match, there was whole batch, of undiscovered snatch
only catch was some had a moustache and one had an eye-patch
on yahoo, met a girl named apu who worked at wamu
wanted me to take it up the wazoo, with  a strap-on, i said nah boo
on craigslist, said this dude needs a chick to get in bed with
then i met this out of her head bitch who had dreads that smelled like dead fish
on adultfriendfinder, met a girl named Dinah from china
she was wearing so much make-up she had eyelina on her vagina
on e-bay, sold the rights to give me a b.j. in three days
a d.j. named c.j. bought it, and, oh yeah, he's gay
put myself on wikipedia but my ex, this chick, amelia
changed it to say my dick was teeny and i was sick with hemophilia
i was pretty irked, felt like a self-pitied jerk and shitty flirt
looked for a strip club on citysearch and typed in titty church
didn't work, why can't i find no one else
so i used my right hand and i google'd myself

you know it's true i'm not ashamed to say
but i google myself like everyday
i don't need anybody else
when i think about me i google myself

yo, i'm not done yet wait
you can still help me get a date
throw this up on funny or die
help this dunny score pie
throw this up on metacafe

yo, i'm not done yet, wait
you can still help me get a date
throw this up on funnyordie, help this dunny score pie 
throw this up on metacafe so i can get the mad play
put it up on break dot com so i can date hot moms
if you're a girl with big tits, then please digg this
ass i need to  get it, so spread it on reddit
help me get the bitches, man, put it on delicious
what the hell, put it up on aol
maybe i can score a lez if you put me on perez
put it on your profile, maybe a girl will go wild
famouslastnerds.com mothafucka